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How to satisfy your man emotionally and sexually without losing your self-esteem

Written by Ade

Satisfying your man is usually a difficult task, especially in the areas of sexual desires, companionship, and emotion while giving him his authority and space as a man

By Kemi Omoniyi

For a woman, satisfying his man in any relationship, especially emotionally and sexually is a demanding task relationship, as she needs to make him happy as well as allow him to have his ways and time as a man.

In the process of satisfying their men, some women end up losing their identity and self-esteem in the relationships. This is not a sign that such women are not strong or independent.

It is just that sometimes in love, women tend to go overboard, subsuming their identities with those of their partners, as they go out of their way to be agreeable and pleasing.

But sometimes, the partner might be a manipulative man and authoritarian, who has ways of making the woman, consciously or unconsciously lose her self-esteem.

Whatever might be the case, a woman needs to be aware of what she needs to do to be in charge of her self-esteem in a relationship, no matter how much in love she is in a relationship.

These tips can help you and your partner get the best out of your relationship, while you as a woman still keep your self-esteem.

Play hard to get once in a while.  Don’t let your man have his way always. Let him know that sometimes he needs to convince or pursue you to have his ways always or have his way whenever he wants.

Show suffocate your man with loving him.  You must let your man know how you feel about him, your love for him but this should be done without ‘overwhelming’ him with love. Also, make sure the affection is mutual. When you tell, him how you feel, it is natural he shows or says his affection to you.

Free your man. You need to be there for your man when he needs you but must know when to back off and give him space when he needs it. You don’t have to hang out with him most time of the day or check in every fifteen seconds when he is not around.  Remember, even when you are married, he might need to hang out with the boys once in a while. Give him his space and time.

When you are not together in a day, nothing wrong with checking in once or twice, but don’t call him every hour. This is more important when you know he is with his friends and family.

You don’t have to call/SMS him all the time. Make your phone conversations short if you notice that he is occupied with an activity, in a bad mood, or irritated to get off the phone. 

Also, you should try and know your man’s moods. Know when he is in a foul mood and wants to be left alone, even if you are the cause or when he is slightly upset and wants to be comforted and to open up to you. These are different but almost similar situations you need to get them perfectly right – one of the great tasks of a woman.

 While you should enjoy your time with your man, your life shouldn’t focus on him. Note that both of you sometimes need to spend some time apart so that you can appreciate each other more and make your relationship grow stronger when you return to each other.

Note that sometimes your presence can limit his enjoyment. Freeing your man to let him enjoy his pastime, friends and family without you is a sign of maturity and trust.

Likewise, you should have your own space and fun

 Socialize regularly with your friends and family. Though you need to integrate your partner into your social circle, it is also important to maintain these other relationships on your own. So don’t neglect them at the expense of growing your relationship. Regularly meet with your friends and family members on your own.

Get your hobbies. A good thing in a relationship is to share at least a hobby with your partner but it is better to have another hobby of yours. Create time for this passion. Do not give up this hobby, especially if it is a passion that gives you joy. Note a good partner will encourage you to have a hobby that personally doesn’t involve him. This will help you grow in confidence and self-esteem, but be cautious that you don’t pursue this passion to the detriment of your relationship.

Be happy. As you strive to make your man happy, you should never forget that you deserve to be happy too. Both your happiness should be being emotionally and sexually fulfilled in the relationship. Both parties should strive to be in this state most of the time as a strong relationship is nurtured by mutual love, encouragement, and acceptance. It shouldn’t be from one side only.

Keep growing and knowing yourself. Even though your partner is meant to ‘complete’ yourself, that doesn’t mean should stop learning, growing and discovering yourself. This is a lifetime task. Doing this will also help enrich your relationship with your partner.

You must not stop learning new things about yourself, making yourself better and who you want to be as a partner: your needs, well-being and responsibilities.

Never neglect yourself and your self-confidence.  Never neglect yourself and your needs and end up putting your partner first EVERY TIME. Don’t get burnout trying to do everything for him, this will end up not being appreciated

Grow your confidence in your relationship and outside the world. It is a positive vibe. Growing your confidence also includes body confidence: maintaining a good shape that gives you self-confidence and continuing to attract your partner sexually. This will help keep your relationship alive. Note that as you grow in the relationship and add more years to your age, your body will change, especially from the shape it was when you first met your partner. So try and keep in shape, even though there are some additions you may not be able to get off.

 Avoid the jealous trips. Don’t get jealous for no reason at all. Even though women tend to get jealous to show they care, men are usually annoyed and frustrated when women are openly annoyed, especially when it is not necessary. They believe jealousy is a display of insecurity in the relationship.

Control your jealousy and feel secure in the relationship.  Cheating and trust should be two-way. If you know you can cheat on your man with another interesting and attractive man, then give your partner the benefit of doubt and your relationship a break.

Don’t go looking for fights. Avoid nagging, bickering, or arguments and fights with your man for no reason. If you have an issue in the relationship or something important to discuss, choose a reasonable time and place where both of you can have a meaningful discussion. Never quarrel in the public or discuss a serious or volatile issue in the public. Keeping your cool most time is very important for your relationship and earning the respect of your partner.

Be intelligent and smart. A major attraction for real cool guys is a lady’s smartness. Many men are attracted to ladies that can solve problems in their absence and do not have to call and distract them in the office over little domestic matters. You should learn to show your smartness around the house, plugging the decoder, switching on the generator, and solving little problems around the children’s needs. You don’t need to wait for your partner to do these. It also shores up your self-esteem and earns you respect from your partner.

Be a morale booster for him. As your man’s main partner, you need to be there to encourage and motivate him. Your words of encouragement should be sincere and needed. Constantly tell him how good he is: in his major areas, help him pursue his dreams and goals. But don’t over push him beyond his capabilities so that frustration doesn’t set in. if he knows you are his biggest sincere cheerleaders, he ends up appreciating you and making you his confidante, which is what partnership is all about.

 Learn to compromise. It is not every time you need to win an argument or have your way in a relationship. Sometimes you need to compromise, both ways, to make each other happy. Both should try to find a middle course that makes you both happy. You can perfectly do this by knowing how to blend your interests with that of your partner’s

When you want to have your ways always, your partner might just develop a thick skin about this and assume a posture that it is better to let you have your way for peace to reign in the house than to argue all the time. But this is building up resentment that might explode later.

But in compromising, learn to state your desires and needs. And watch out if your partner is gradually taking advantage of your willingness to compromise. Compromising should not be one-sided. It should be a healthy two-way thing.

Sex should not be part of the bartering chip. Sex should never be a punishment to your partner for failing to dispense a favour or perform a task or chore. It is more important in a relationship to be used as a bartering chip for mundane things. Sex is not a chore but a lovemaking act to show mutual affection in a relationship.

 Relax and have fun. No relationship is ever perfect. Even when you are having ups and downs in your relationship, relax, have fun and enjoy the good sides while you work on the difficult and bad aspects of it.

Don’t get obsessed with trying to have a perfect relationship and forget to see the fun sides of a difficult aspect of your relationship. Learning to make fun with each other helps in building a strong, nurturing bond, with both of you learning to appreciate and respect each other.

About the author

Ade

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