Lifestyle Verve

Do you have a sexual obligation to your partner?

Written by Solomon Unoke

Even though you might sometime feel no urge for sex, is it compulsory to oblidge your partner at uch times?

Solomon Unoke

When two people who are absolutely in love start on their romantic love adventures, everything seems possible and the horizon appears clear and promising. Usually, they can’t take their eyes and hands off each other and the bedroom is hot with frequent intimate intercourses that fill their hearts with joy.

If you asked this couple what would possibly be the sexual state of their relationship in five years, they might have glowing predictions to give you. However, in many cases, the reverse might be the case.

While the reasons for this might differ from case to case, the outcome is almost always the same. In time the interest and urge for regular sexual intercourse with your partner will likely decrease and this more often than not would become a source of friction in the relationship. The reality is, everything wanes, and everything fades.

There are several possible reasons for the change in interest in sexual desire for your partner and these might be gradual or sudden depending on the cause. Most women after childbirth undergo hormone changes that might affect their sex drive thereby decreasing their sexual desire for their spouse. Also, some physical body changes might make sex, which was once enjoyed and anticipated, become a kind of boring chore. Thereby causing friction among the couple.

So do we have a sexual obligation to our partner?

To this, there is some difference in opinions of people.                                                                           

Kevwe, a 26-year-old lady, strongly believes that a woman has a sexual obligation to her partner. She says even though men can be demanding at times, a lady should use wisdom to handle such a situation to satisfy her man.                                                                                                                                              “It is all about wisdom. I don’t have to allow penetration at all times, there are different ways to get him there,” she says.

She was quick to say that even a drastic body change by a partner should not be a put-off to the other person.                                                                                                                                         “Hmm, a change in body size or form can be a turn off sometimes, but you just have to deal with it, it helps if I’m in love with him because love turns me on more than attractive bodies do,” she says.

For Tofunmi, another lady, sexual obligation to the partner should be at the person’s convenience, even though relationships are a commitment of both partners’ time, company and body.

“This is not selfish. There are cases when you have to consider yourself because you might not be fit for it. For example, I cannot be expected to concede for sexual intercourse when I’m feeling sick,” she says.

Adeoye, a 33-year-old man also believes that a partner has a sexual obligation to his or her partner. He says there are just a few times that such obligations could not be discharged.

“Those occasions are rare for me, but relationships involve compromises and sacrifices. So planning special sexual intercourses with your partner can help too,” he says.

Even though most people believe that partners have a sexual obligation to fulfil their partner’s sexual desires in the right conditions, there might be some situation or issue that might make sexual desire wane in people.

  1. Pregnancy and childbirth take their toll on every woman. Although celebrity magazines make it seem like life goes back to normal immediately after childbirth, the truth is harsher than that. The trick to re-starting your sex life after childbirth is to take it easy; time is always slow when you are expecting things to happen fast. Here is a nice blog post, written for this exact reason. Follow the instructions of the expert and you will be there in no time.
  2. Jobs can cause a rift in relationships, especially if your partner is not in the loop. Separating work life from home life can be very difficult if your job bears on constant productivity, sexual intercourse might be the last thing on your mind if your livelihood hangs on by a thread. Our jobs are a huge part of our lives, and it affects every sphere of it, here are a few examples. The main goal behind relationships is to find companionships and support and to confide in someone else. It is a big relief and comfort to know that you are not going through a difficult patch in your career alone. Bring your partner in, discuss your day at work, make jokes about your day and even if they don’t have the expertise or knowledge about what you do, a problem shared is still half solved. If your partner knows what you are going through, their support will reduce your stress, bring you closer together and strengthen your love life.
  3. Physical body changes in the form of weight gain or loss can be a sexual turnoff, but like Kevwe love conquers all. However, we cannot always expect love and acceptance without putting in the work. If your sex life is affected by your body changes, you owe it to your partner to make adjustments. Start a workout routine and involve your partner in the process of recovery, them him/her be your coach, workout together, start a diet and have them monitor you, you’ll find that working together alone can be the turn-on you need, and the motivation to get back in shape.
  4. Sicknesses: Taking ill for some time takes a toll not only on the body of an individual but also on the mind, sicknesses can cause immense weight loss or weight gain, loss in both muscle and bone density etc. They can completely change the look of an individual. The list of reasons for body changes can continue, but the impact they have on the human psyche is real, drastic body changes can also greatly impact a person self-confidence and sense of acceptance.
  5. Finally, medications and their side effects can be a hectic ordeal. The first step in healing whatever damage this might have done to your sex life is to make sure that your partner is aware of your medications and their side effect, no one loves secrets. If your partner understands the side effects of your drugs, then the two of you can plan work around it, you could skip it on some days if that was an option, or engage in more foreplay for proper stimulation.

Conclusion: Sex is meant to be enjoyed so do your best to keep it so. Talk to your partner about your sexual preferences, engage in role plays and indulge your partner’s sexual fetishes as long as they are not too uncomfortable or weird for you. So live love and share happiness with someone today

About the author

Solomon Unoke

Solomon is a writer science fiction, romance and website contents who's passion revolves around works of creativity and vivid imaginations.

"Walls, trees, the sands and the seas, all of nature is a witness to the stories of our lives and of thousands of lives that came before us. Whispers heard in the winds, and the chirping of the birds on the trees, are stories begging to be heard and experiences that wants to be relived. Our stories keep the planet alive."

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